Saturday, August 9, 2008

A MEETING OF H.U.R.T.

(SUPERMARKET WIDE SHOT TRIGUYJT AND THE BRIDE SHOPPING)

TRIGUYJT
"ISN'T THAT ODD"

(CLOSE UP AS PACKAGE OF BUNS FALLS TO FLOOR)

TRIGUYJT
"THOSE BUNS FELL ON THEIR OWN..OH LOOK HONEY, THEYRE HONEY BUNS"

(JT STARTS TO BEND OVER )

(CUT TO SHOT OF MEETING ROOM..DEEP IN THE BODY OF J.T....ITS A MICROSCOPIC WORLD..TUBES OF LIQUID OVERHEAD... MANY SMALL BEINGS IN THE ROOM AND THEY ARE ALL SHOUTING...

"I'M AT THE END OF MY TENDONS WITH THIS J.T. GUY."

"4 RACES IN 4 WEEKS!!!"

"HE'S KILLING US"

(ITS A MEETING OF THE ORGANIZATION CALLED HAMSTRINGS UNDER REPEPITIVE TRAUMA...OTHERWISE KNOWN AS H. U. R. T.)

"CAN WE HAVE SOME ORDER"!! SHOUTS THE LEADER HAMSTRING.

"J.T. NEVER FULLY REHABBED THE STRAIN IN HAMSTRING JUST BELOW HIS RIGHT BUTT"...AND NOW HE'S DOING A HALF IRONMAN AT GREATER CLEVELAND"

" REMEMBER HOW HE HAD THAT SHARP STABBING PAIN JUST ABOVE HIS RIGHT KNEE A WEEK AGO"??

"THAT WAS ME"

(ALL TURN TO SEE A HAMSTRING TENDON IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM)

"YEAH, THAT WAS ME. I'M SICK OF THIS JOKER. HE REALLY SHOULD NOT BE RUNNING ON IT, ESPECIALLY DOING THOSE TREADMILL SPRINT OR CHARGING UP A HILL. HE IS 55 YEARS OLD. THE MUSCLES ARE NOT AS LOOSE. HE HAS A WIFE WHO TEACHES PILATES BUT HE DOESN'T TAKE THOSE CLASSES ENOUGH."

LEADER HAMSTRING
"SO WHAT ARE YOU SUGGESTING"

' I THINK WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING JUST TO LET HIM KNOW WE KNOW WHAT THE HECK HE IS UP TO'

'YEAH, LETS TEAR THE HAMSTRING"

"RIP IT RIGHT OFF THE BONE!!!"

'NO I THINK THATS TOO DRASTIC'"

"LETS JUST TWEAK IT..THATS ALL.. NOTHING SERIOUS...I MEAN THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH... HOW MANY MEETINGS OF H.U.R.T. HAVE WE HELD"

'TOO MANY"

'YEAH, 5 MEETINGS IN 3 MONTHS, ITS CRAZY'

(LEADER HAMSTRING)

"ALL IN FAVOR OF A TWEAK, SAY AYE"

"AYE' AYE' AYE' AYE' AYE AYE' AYE''

'ALL OPPOSED SAY NAY'

(SILENCE)

"AYES HAVE IT. MEETING OVER...NOW HURRY EVERYONE GET IN POSITION...NOWS OUR CHANCE..HE'S STARTING TO BEND OVER'

(SHOT OF SUPER MARKET AS J.T. BENDS OVER"

TRIGUYJT
"OUCH, ARRRGGGH"
THE BRIDE
"WHATS THE MATTER"?
TRIGUYJT
'MY HAMMY...MAN THAT HURTS'
THE BRIDE
"GUESS YOUR BODY IS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING"
TRIGUYJT
"AGREED. I'M JUST GONNA DO THE AQUABIKE AT GREATER CLEVELAND...NO RUNNING FOR ME. WHENS YOUR NEXT PILATES CLASS??"

12 comments:

Tea said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I"m pretty sure that's EXACTLY how those meetings go!

Time to rest up, get to pilates, and enjoy the Aquabike!

Wes said...

I hate it when my body thinks it knows more than I do. :-) But I listen!!

Lily on the Road said...

OH NO!! Damn that leader hamstring, nasty dude...that's what you get for "falling for the honey buns"...LMAO!!!

rocketpants said...

I'm sorry that they decided to converge and gang up against you!! I'm glad you are listening or next time they might take 'drastic action'...don't let them!!

Tri to Be Funny said...

Yep--grabbing buns has been known to cause injury!!

GP said...

My body often thinks it knows more than I do. It will whisper, and then speak, and then cry, and then scream. What's its deal? Our bodies should listen to our minds, no? At least I think they should.

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

Sorry about your hammy, but boy that was a funny read. :)

Brian said...

that stinks. hey, at least you can do that.

cindy said...

funny guy...heal up fast....hammies can hurt for sure!

JenC said...

Dude, that is funny (post, not injury obviously)! Great job today on the bike!

Kevin said...

Sorry to hear it happened. At least you are able to make light of it. Rest up and feel better soon

Triteacher said...

OH MY!!! That was an adventure in creative writing. Thanks for the hilarious ride!