Friday, March 7, 2008

You're Fired

"If you were one of my clients, I would fire you" Yep. Thats what the bride told me a few mornings ago. I was grousing about getting to the gym and getting in my workout. She had noticed lately how I was working out, but I was not really working out. The Bride is a personal trainer. Put both trainers, Jillian and Bob from the "Biggest Loser" together and you have my bride. Whats the country saying?? "You can't sneak a sunrise past a rooster". She knows when your committed and when your not. She called me out. Fired!!! I'd rather have Donald Trump. The Bride is a taskmaster. When she used to work me out, I really got alot out of the challenging sessions. But I came to a point where I said that I could "Handle it from here". In essence, I told her, I no longer needed her guidance. That was wrong. I need a quick kick in the fanny. So, her hypothetical firing was good medicine indeed.

This means, I put out there, short term, intermediate term and long term goals.
Short term..... sub 9:00 min a mile pace in the St. Malachi 5 miler next week.
Intermediate term... Mid May Cleveland Half-Marathon..sub 1:53. This goal is doable, and depending on my fitness level prior to the race, I just might adjust. We'll see.
Long Term.. Sub 6 hour in the Greater Cleveland Half Ironman in August. My pr for a Half-Ironman was in 2002 at Deer Creek. 5:47. This is a very challenging goal. I was 49 then, I will be 55 on race day. I really have to kick it in gear. "Hey my lovely Bride, I neeed ya baby!!!!"

I will also post my race schedule in the margins. Look for that to appear.


I am kidding of course. Who doesn't love the ageless wonder of weathermen??? Clevelanders have watched Dick for decades.....and....decades. I have worked with him for 28 years. I kid him that he gave Noah the first 8 day forecast.

"better hurry up building that ark, Noah"
"Building the ark is pain, enough, I can't find a mate for this mongoose"
"I checked the maps, its pretty much, rain, rain, rain for the next year."
"Figures... I ran out of Thompson Water Sealer. Can you run to "Lords" for another can?"

Anyway, Goddard comforts us when the wintery blasts hit and he is trying his darndest with the huge storm we are under. Easily a foot or more of snow everywhere. Its trying our patience. I love the snow...but even this is getting to me. It too shall pass.

Watching Survivor and I notice this really cut, super-built guy and remark to the Bride. "Wow, that guy is in fantastic shape". You know, a brilliant comment with lots of insight. Bride says, "He's a gravedigger". Get out!!! You mean, thats all thats standing in the way of a super body. Get me a shovel, dig me a grave,, show off my body, watch the ladies mis-behave!!!!!! Ha.
Every cemetery could sign up guys or gals to work on their deltoids and lats. , while Aunt Millie gets a proper burial. Everyone wins!!!!! Except Aunt Millie.
See you around


TrainingtoTri said...

I love Dick Goddard b/c we have him to thank for Mushi! Hubby saw Mushi on his dog recap! Yeah! THis weather is crazy. Nice goal list! I would love love love to do sub 9 min miles at St. Malachi's too. I have managed it for 5Ks, but never over. Good goal!

tracie said...

love your post and dick goddard - who doesn't!

keep up the hard work (or not so hard since the bride fired you!)

at least you have her there to kick your ass and give support! :)

Brian said...

You'll be 55 and I'll be 20 year younger on race day for GCT yet our goals are the same. Scary.

What is a gravedigger? I've never heard that term. As for him being in shape, I'd argue that point. Let's see him run a half ironman. Yes he is rock solid and looks better then I could ever, but I'm guessing he can't hold a match to you in the distance.

Charlie said...

Abs like that aren't healthy.
Your St Malicki goal should be easy for you assumming Mr Goddards storm get cleaned up.

Viv said...

I would love to have a traininer like the bride. Sounds, like some great goals you have there no doubt you will have them covered. This Texan will be at the Cleveland marathon attempting the 1/2. You will be showered and napping whilst I am still running LOL!

Lily on the Road said...

We don't have Dick Goddard, he sounds like a fun guy!

Good for you to have the Bride give her "support"...good luck with the race next week!

When I started my career in construction, I learned how to operate heavy machines...and yes dig graves...but with a backhoe...where does this guy live? Still digging by hand, YUCK!

Eric said...

Yeah Bride. I'm glad I have my Coach Angela to help keep me on track with my workouts.

Dicky G does know his stuff. Too bad he was right about all the white stuff. You know we made the big time when Cleveland gets a Weather Channel crew.

rocketpants said...

Nice goal you have set for yourself. Sometime it just takes someone to 'fire' you to lite a fire under you. Sounds like your bride has done a good thing :-)

Marcy said...

Ooooooo you're Bride is a lucky lucky woman! Nothing like putting the Man in his place :P

Shoot, I'll be a gravedigger too. Well maybe part time because I don't need THAT much abs :P

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

Great goals! Go for it!!

I never thought anything about James being a gravedigger until you brought it up...hmmmmm

Wes said...

I like those goals. They are all at or just above my own goals for this season. I'm not sure what a "gravedigger" means, but if your wife said it, it must be true. Women are smart like that ;-)

Darrell said...

I remember Dick Goddard. He must be like 120 years old by now.

I'm with Brian when it comes to James' fitness. He's got the muscles but can he run (or bike, or swim)? I actually I think I remember from Survivor China that he can't swim.

jahowie said...

I bet you really hate Dick after this weekend. I heard that you guys got hammered over there. Poor Lebron couldn't even get to the Duke/N.Carolina game. Which was a great game by the way. For once the officials let them play. Now listen to your wife and get your ass in gear!! :-)

Kurt said...

I am sure Dick had fun with all the snow you had in the Cleveland area.

GP said...

I think if you shoveled this weekend, you'd probably look like the gravedigger by now. Not that I did shovel (I'm apparently too slow, so my shoveling privileges were stripped... darn it!), but I hear it's pretty intense.

Personally, I like being in hot cocoa-drinking shape. Perhaps it's just me.

Your running goals are right on par with mine for the same races. Maybe I'll use you as my pacer!

Tri to Be Funny said...

Ha--every man needs a good strong woman to kick him in gear every now and then!!

JenC said...

Dick Goddard is da man!

Spouses are good for keeping us real, huh? Get back in the game! (says the girl who isn't training for anything right now) : )

davegibb said...

Nice goals. I have to constantly adjust my goals to keep me motivated. Don't overtrain to get there though, talk it slow and steady.

Anonymous said...

Kudos to your bride!

hmmm...I might need to start watching Survivor ;)