A Bummed out Bike

Help. Its me again. J.T's Red Cannondale. Look what the heck he's done to me!!!!! Good Lord.!!! I cart his 190 pound frame all over from race to race and this is my freaking reward??? He hangs me upside down in the flipping garage!!! Its gonna get cold soon, and bet he won't take any mercy on me.!! Come on!!! All the alloy is rushing to my aero bars. I can't breathe!! I'm gonna throw a chain, you watch!!! And look at the bike hanging next to me. Thats J.T's bike from a few years ago. He's feeling blue and you can see why?? Many other bikes I know get to go into the house. The triathletes put them on trainers and they get to stay active in the winter. Not to mention warm. I'm gonna freeze my tires off. Now you know why i"m cranky all the time!!!!
His worst discipline in the triathlon is the bike and he puts me away for the winter??? Give me a BRAKE!!!!!!. Sorry. Play on words there. He should be on me all winter long. Would somebody please help me. Please!!!
Ohh yeah, I found out he's been seeing another bike..its a stationary bike from the gym, and he's got some hottie spin bike too from the gym, PLUS he likes to use one of those elliptical machines!!!! Do those machines ever see the outdoors?? Do they go Whump!! Whump!! over backroads. Do they scale hills and small mountains??? Have they seen the business side of a Cleveland pothole?? I think not!!!!!Has he no pride.????

This is me in better times. He pulled me out of the garage and took a picture. Wanted to brag about me, but I know better. Look at that. He won't even take my number off. Shoot, that race was over a month ago. Lazy, no good, triathlete.

I have a feeling he only wants me for maybe one more season.... its just a hunch. Maybe he's grown tired of me. Maybe he will blame his slow biking times on ME!!! How unfair. I want you to know I NEVER had a FLAT...EVER in any race. Period. Just a very dependable bike and I get treated like dirt.!!! Ha!!! maybe he should just train more.!!!!

Look at some of these bikes from the Maumee Bay competiton. Don't they look happy. Don't they seem fulfilled??? Those bikes are LOVED!!!.I tell you , but I get used for some training and then put in a dirty garage that LEAKS sometimes.

I"m letting Lance know about this??? He'll give J.T. a piece of his mind.

In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving to all those hard working bikes in Triathlon. They should all be thankful they don't have to deal with Triguyjt.